Every Friday afternoon somebody leans on the front desk and asks the same thing: we have two days, we don't want to drive, what should we do? After twenty-odd years of answering, the desk team has a plan they could recite in their sleep. Here it is, written down for once.
None of it is clever. It works because it leaves room. The guests who enjoy their weekend most are the ones who book one dinner, one walk and one long afternoon by the pool, and let the rest happen. The ones who arrive with a spreadsheet tend to leave tired.
Friday: arrive, swim, eat close by
Check-in starts at 2 pm, but if your train gets in at noon, come anyway. Leave your bags at the desk, change in the pool house and have a swim while housekeeping finishes your room. The main pool is 25 metres long and open until 10 pm, and on a Friday afternoon it is usually half empty.
For dinner on the first night, stay within walking distance. You will be more tired than you think. There are three places within ten minutes on foot that the desk books most often: a small family-run Italian place with eight tables, a grill that does one very good steak and not much else, and a noodle bar with no bookings and a queue that moves fast. Ask at the desk which one has a table; we ring ahead so you are not standing outside.
Book one dinner, one walk and one long afternoon by the pool. Let the rest happen.
Saturday morning: the river path before breakfast
This is the part guests thank us for. Breakfast runs from 7 to 10.30 am, which gives you time for a walk first. Turn left out of the front gate, follow the lane down for about twelve minutes and you reach the path along the river. Go early, before eight if you can, while it belongs to dog walkers and a few rowers. A gentle loop takes about an hour; there are benches every few hundred metres and nowhere you need special shoes.
If walking is not your thing, the desk keeps four bicycles for guests, free of charge, with locks and lights. They are sturdy town bikes rather than racing machines, and a flat loop by the river takes forty minutes at an easy pace. Please book them the evening before; on a sunny Saturday they go fast.
Come back hungry. The breakfast room does eggs to order, our own granola, fruit from the Saturday market and bread from a bakery two streets away. If you would rather eat in the garden, say so and we will lay a table outside.
Saturday: the market and an afternoon off
The Saturday market runs from early morning until about one o'clock, a fifteen-minute walk from the hotel. It is a working market rather than a tourist one: vegetables, flowers, a cheese stall, a man who sharpens knives while you wait. Bring a bag and something to carry back for a picnic later.
Then do nothing for a while. This is not laziness; it is the point of the weekend. Take a lounger by the infinity pool, where the water seems to run straight into the hills across the valley, and read the book you have been carrying around since spring. The pool bar serves lunch from noon and will bring it to your lounger. Towels are by the steps, and you can swap a damp one for a dry one whenever you like.
Saturday evening: the one dinner worth booking ahead
If you book one thing before you arrive, book Saturday dinner. The place we send most guests is a twenty-minute walk or a five-minute taxi, in an old brick building with a courtyard. The menu changes with the week's market, so we cannot tell you what to order, only that you should leave room for dessert. Tables for Saturday fill by Wednesday, so email us with a time when you book your room and we will reserve it for you.
On the way back, the roof terrace is open until eleven. It is the best view in the building: the town lights on one side and the dark gardens on the other. There is a small honesty bar up there; write your room number on the card and we add it to your bill.
Sunday: slow breakfast, late check-out
On Sundays breakfast stretches to 11 am, and nobody hurries you. If your room is not booked that night, check-out moves from 11 am to 2 pm at no charge; ask on Saturday evening and the desk will tell you straight away. Most guests use the extra hours for one last swim and a walk around the garden.
Heading for a train? The desk books taxis, and the station is fifteen minutes away. Guests leaving late in the day can keep their bags with us and use the pool house showers before they go.
What we would not do
We would not try to fit in the big sights on a two-day trip. They will still be there next time, and the weekends people remember are the ones that felt like a rest. We would not drive anywhere either: parking is free here, but everything above is on foot, by bike or a short taxi ride. And we would not skip breakfast. Honestly.
If you want the plan printed, or want us to book the Friday and Saturday dinners for you, mention it when you book or write to the desk. We are happy to set the whole weekend up before you arrive.
Elena Marsh runs the front desk at Helotica and has been sending guests down to the river path since 2009.